Let me pre-warn you, this is not a blog post about food, recipes or anything that will make your mouth water, this is just a little start to 2017 and how you always need to trust the timing of every path that you are on, of every person put infront of you, of every phonecall, conversation, chance encounter and most importantly, going with your gut instinct is actually better than overthinking things.
Here’s the thing. Everyone knows, life throws you these curveballs and knocks your off your feet, and makes your wonder what the hell it is you are doing!? The curveballs come in two forms. One being negative the other positive, and obviously both come with major life lessons and you allow yourself the time to think about these things, reflect in it all, gather yourself, ask the questions that need to be asked, then you make decisions and you figure it all out.
You either sit in a heap on the floor and cry your eyes out (which is allowed) or you gather yourself and move on. The positive curveball allows you to almost question wether all that’s right in your life now, is actually real? You ask yourself, “but what did I to do to deserve this?” Or “surely this is all a dream?”
We have this ability to always question “the right” in our lives and not just take it and run for the hills. We are unable to acknowledge when things fall into place, and land in our laps. But here’s the thing, do you not think that there’s already been a complete build up to this? Everything happens for a reason, that’s ones of those “nag” sayings, that my mother always echoes, or that gets told to me when I am having a moment with my entire life. But it’s SO true.
Last year, I walked out of a job, an actual “I’m done, I can’t, I’m over it”. That’s the short of the long…between empty promises and a completely draining work energy, I was just finished. I had lost weight, wasn’t eating or sleeping, and questioned my love for food, my passion to feed and my entire being as a chef. Also, that old thing about working in an industry that’s already so male dominated and being taken for a joke if you are a women, can also make you feel completely messed.
After two weeks of feeling sorry for myself, ok, wait, not so much “feeling sorry for myself” more of a “I’ve never not had a job, what the actual fuck am I going to do now?”, type of mindset, I quickly had to figure out where my next salary was coming from. I had an amazing support structure in my previous boss, both him and his amazing girlfriend, gave me sound advise and kept me distracted, my family, supported me and became my back bone, with constant conversations and phone calls, and my sister and her boyfriend even flew out to come to me to help me keep some sort of sanity. (Leaving this job, or at least the build up to it, actually affected me more than anything has in the past few months, I was in a really bad space) Also, my friends rallied around me and I felt safe and secure in their support and love.
Moving onto how there is ALWAYS a silver lining on that fucked storm cloud.
Once I made my mind up that I would be ok, and survive, I reset my thinking to just be like “I’m fucking amazing” it all just took a turn in my favor.
I got to film on a local TV show, Top Billing, with one of my best friends, and we got to share that amazing journey together. Read Riyaadh’s story over at Supersetta , besides being an inspiration to me, he is the most amazing person and is honestly such a genuine soul. I love surrounding myself with people that support my journey so that I can be the cheerleader in theirs.
I did a cook off for the team of an amazing restaurant franchise called tashas and landed my absolute dream job as their executive development chef. Anyone who knows me, and my life as a chef, knows that I am extremely passionate about development. I love taking ingredients and producing something spectacular, new and different. That’s mainly our jobs as chefs, but with this, there’s no pressure of being in a kitchen with 40 other staff members and being pressed for time. Don’t get me wrong, it comes with its own amount of stress and deadlines, but it’s more fulfilling to my soul.
I went home to visit my family and did amazing private chef work in Cape Town over the December period and got to meet amazing people from all over the world. That is always a good thing, right? Right.
I also found my amazing person, who I have known for sometime, but who I now see differently.
I am in such a good place, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. More than anything, my heart is happy. Like ecstatically, stupid “how do I manage to breathe” happy. I’m following this journey, taking it a day at a time, allowing myself to be swept up in all of it and embracing it hard. It’s so unlike me, I need lists and plans and confirmations, but, I think that because I’m finally in such a good space, I’m just like “oh well….wake up, breathe, drink coffee, repeat.
Be blessed and stay tuned. ❤️